So this bizarre/amazing thing happened to me a week ago: I received in the mail a package of mint Milano cookies. No note, no explanation. Just cookies.
The return address was some shop (actually, it was spelled “shoppe” on the packaging) based in Danvers, MA. Some online research confirmed for me that this package of cookies had been ordered through Amazon and shipped through this third-party Shoppe distributor, which makes more sense than thinking that someone drove to Danvers, MA, to mail me some cookies, but still does not make total, 100% sense.
The Shoppe had a phone number, so I called them twice and left messages, which they did not return. So I still have NO IDEA WHO SENT ME THESE COOKIES.
I can even theorize as to WHY I was sent these cookies: Presumably, because of the line in MOSTLY GOOD GIRLS where Violet is at Thanksgiving dinner, listing what she’s thankful for, and she says “family,” even though she is considerably more thankful for mint Milanos. (I forget the exact wording of that line; it’s been a while since I wrote it.)
NONETHELESS, this still doesn’t explain WHO bought me cookies, even if it does explain WHY and HOW. This is, obviously, awesome, as it allows me to believe that I have a SECRET ADMIRER, which is the best kind of admirer.
I had a similar experience the Valentine’s Day before last, when I received a mystery bouquet of roses, with a note saying something like, “Love you!” I went around for a week announcing to everyone who would listen that I had a secret admirer who loved me. It was great until I told my friend Becca about it, and she was like, “Um, I sent you those flowers. Did they not include my name? I told Kabloom to include my name.”
Therefore it seems fairly likely that these mint Milanos are also from Becca, or from some other friend who thinks I’m being rude for not sending him or her a thank-you note.
So consider this blog post my universal thank-you note: To whomever my secret admirer may be, or even if you are not a secret and are actually my mom but you just forgot to enclose a card– thank you for the cookies. I love mint Milanos, and you’re so thoughtful and generous to know that about me. And I already ate half of the bag. Love, Leila.
I’m on a blog tour! My roommate– who got her Master’s degree in Publishing and is therefore an expert– told me, “Oh, you have to do a blog tour. They are very important.” So let’s assume she’s right. She tends to be right about these things.
I had hoped a blog tour would be like a concert tour. You know, driving around in an old van with three of your best friends, singing along to Night Ranger with the windows rolled down, periodically eating in diners in Toledo, playing to crowds of a dozen people at Bob’s Beer and Billiards, sleeping on strangers’ parents’ family room couches, making out with groupies.
It turns out that none of that happens during a blog tour. Or at least not during MY blog tour. So, that was a shock.
Seriously, these bloggers are so good at what they do, it is unbelievable. Lauren’s post, for example, includes a plot summary, a book review, an interview with me, the book trailer, and a contest for a copy of the book. That is SO MANY THINGS. It’s all I can do most days to update my facebook status before I become exhausted and need to go to sleep.
Which is, by the way, what I’m about to do now. I have to wake up in eight hours. It’s bedtime.
I’m doing a reading at 4pm on Saturday at the B&N in Burlington, MA! I used to WORK at this B&N. True story. I was 19 years old and I organized displays and rang people up at the cash register (to varying degrees of success) and made roughly $7 per hour. And now I am doing a reading there! Please come if you live anywhere near Burlington, or basically anywhere in New England at all. IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I am even planning on wearing mascara JUST FOR YOU.
I just ate my body weight in whole wheat pasta. I told my roommate that I am “carbo-loading.” What am I carbo-loading for? Revising a manuscript, of course! Why do revisions require a lot of carbohydrates? I don’t know, they just do!
I get that it seems like the only things I talk about on here are eating, sleeping, and my hair, and that may be true, but I guess that’s just what I care about.
Now that I can look up my own sales figures on Bookscan, it seems unlikely that I’ll ever do anything else with my time. I am TOO CURIOUS. I just learned that sixty copies of MOSTLY GOOD GIRLS have been purchased. Sixty! This seems like a lot, until I remember that I have 500 facebook friends, so, until more than 500 copies have sold, all this means is that people who I know are going out and purchasing my book, which is not as exciting as ACTUAL STRANGERS.
Furthermore, Bookscan reports only a small percentage of actual sales. We all know this. It’s not real numbers. Will this prevent me from looking at it every day?
No. Of course not.
Leila on Twitter
Hamilton could never happen today. For one, our politicians are far less principled. Moreover, in Hamilton they do… https://t.co/eyfd9Z2q57 - Saturday Jul 4 - 3:04am